Self-care is just for the rich. It is selfish. I am too busy. Heard these things before? Maybe even thought them yourself?
You are not alone. There is a lot of advice out there and, like mindfulness, self-care can be misunderstood.
Self-care is a collection of habits that support and strengthen your mental health and well-being. It is your program for taking care of yourself. The specifics will look different for each person, but some general qualities matter.
Be consistent
Mental health self-care is not something to be done occasionally, because you are stressed. It is a regular practice, to avoid becoming stressed. Consistent habits beat quick fixes every time. Regular meditation, for example, or mindful activity, can become part of who you are, part of your way of life.
Keep it simple
Genuine relaxation, quality sleep, time with people you love. These are all aspects of how you can care for your mental health. Prioritise them, schedule them, do what you need to make them happen.
Help yourself to help others
You cannot help other people if you do not care for yourself. It is not selfish, it is practical. Unless you maintain your own mental well-being, you cannot bring your best self to the care and support of those around you.
Build your own practice
Making space for self-care does not have to mean lots of time or money. It could be stepping away from your desk at lunchtime, get some fresh air, take a walk, spend time in nature. Whatever makes sense for you. Simple brief practices that you can follow consistently, like a regular breathing space meditation, pay dividends.
Physical health matters
Your body and your brain are inter-related. Mental health deteriorates when physical health is not supported – exercise, sleep and eat well – create a foundation for your mental health to flourish.
Be social to suit yourself
Human beings are social creatures, but there is a right level of social for each of us. Know what the right amount for you is and make it part of your routine. Big groups or coffee with a friend. Even in the pandemic, reach out by phone or electronically.
Hobbies help
Mastering skills and challenges for their own sake is one way to genuine relaxation. When you are absorbed in task, purely for its own pleasure, you are helping your brain to rewire in a more mindful, calmer way.
Be your own best friend
It is easy to be hard on ourselves when things do not go well. But there is a case for learning how to be gentler, and more accepting, of ourselves. Imagine talking to yourself as though you were your own best friend. What advice would you give someone you love? See how that changes the tone of your inner dialogue.
Leave gaps in your diary
It is easy and tempting to fill every day with activity. But this makes it hard to introduce new habits, or take the quality downtime to restore and refresh. Be brave – allow some gaps in the schedule. Give yourself the time you need.
These are just some ideas of how to create the right conditions to care for your mental health. In future weeks I’ll be writing about the different qualities of mindfulness and how you can bring these into your everyday to support yourself.
