The current state of play goes something like this. Your keys are in the fridge, your mobile phone is – somewhere. You were about to say something, but before you could speak, the thought disappeared down a black hole. Now you’ve lost your temper, because yet again you can’t find your glasses/wallet/watch (delete as appropriate). And there are days when your inability to concentrate can reduce you to tears. To cool an overworked brain, try mindfulness for stress relief.
Difficulty focusing, foggy thinking, confusion, and generally not feeling as competent as you normally do – are common experiences for women in midlife. However, all of these, along with fatigue, irritability, and tears, can also be signs of a nervous system that has spent too long in hypervigilance. And the pandemic has exacerbated mental health challenges for peri- and menopausal women. It has created extra burdens of uncertainty and lack of control, alongside financial pressures, family disruption, and additional worry about friends and relatives. Indeed, research suggests the mental health challenges from a pandemic may far exceed the number of people infected.
Your brain is doing its best to protect you. But when the fight or flight response is activated too often, for too long, the logical, planning parts of your brain struggle to cope. And when your survival mode is in charge, you are naturally more error prone, and emotional responses – be they tears or anger – are more likely.
Mindfulness for stress relief
Under stress, you rely on your limbic system – the emotional centre of your brain – to make decisions. And it is great at getting you out of the way of an oncoming car. But not so good at logical thinking, planning, organizing, or decision making. With the limbic system in charge, small things can overwhelm you emotionally. This is normal, you are not alone. Mindfulness has been shown to calm activity in your limbic system.
There are four attitudes of mindfulness than can help you to soothe your overworked brain.
- Acceptance: often misunderstood, acceptance is not about being resigned. It is about allowing your emotions, feelings, to be as they are. It is OK to feel how you feel. You could use the word acknowledgement instead, as labelling what you are feeling can help your brain relax.
- Non-judgement: this goes with acceptance. No emotions are good or bad, and using non-judgement helps you stop getting stressed about being stressed. It is not helpful to criticize yourself for not coping better. That is just like throwing fuel on a fire.
- Patience: soothing your brain is not something you can do instantly. It takes at least two months for changes to show up on MRI. Holding yourself to an unrealistic time frame is likely to increase your stress, not decrease it.
- Letting go: much of what happens in your life is out of your control. Letting go encourages you to stop trying to create certainty where there isn’t any, and to be with any difficulties, accepting that you cannot always change them right away.
Five daily habits
Your brain is very adaptable. The science of neuroplasticity tells us that you really can wire your brain for stress relief. Here are five ways to help cool an overworked brain.
- Some form of regular movement. Getting your body moving can often help get your mind unstuck, too. Chose something you enjoy, that is easy for you to fit in to your life.
- Get creative and/or learn something new. Engaging different parts of your brain can help integrate difficult thoughts and feelings in a productive way.
- Commit to a regular meditation habit. No excuses, 10 minutes a day, every day, 21 days. There are guided practices here to help you. Or try an app or join a group.
- Try non-doing. It is easy to get stuck thinking that everything needs your reaction. Try not responding, or reacting, sitting still, giving yourself time to breathe. Create a space between events and your responses.
- Become an observer. Practice noticing what you are thinking. It may help to change your inner dialogue so instead of talking about ‘my pain’, ‘my stress’, say ‘the pain’, ‘the stress’. Creating distance can decrease intensity.
If none of these appeal, you will find other ideas on 10 ways mindfulness can help with stress.
The good news is that intense periods of stress can leave you stronger. Your brain is adaptive and up to 70 per cent of people who experience intense stress develop long term improved resilience.
Mindfulness for stress relief is simple, but not easy. It takes time, but you can literally teach your brain to integrate itself for greater calm. Try this practice to help you be mindful with emotions. It is 12 minutes long.
Mindfulness tip: it is normal to feel stressed. Labelling an emotion but not judging it as good or bad can help you reduce the impact on your brain.
