Many people come to learn mindfulness with a specific aim in mind. Reducing anxiety is one of the most common. Acceptance is one of the attitudes of mindfulness that can help with anxiety – but perhaps not in the way you might expect.
Feeling anxious is a normal, if sometimes distressing, experience. More than 80 per cent of women going through peri- and menopause report increased anxiety. Causes can include changes in hormone levels, which then impact the way your brain produces chemicals that balance mood and emotion. And other symptoms, such as physical aches and pains, skin irritation, and sleep problems, can also trigger anxiety.
Natural tendencies when feeling anxious can include criticising yourself for feeling anxious, trying to stop anxiety showing up (by planning to avoid it), and wanting to make it disappear when it happens. These responses are normal, but unhelpful.
Using acceptance in mindfulness for anxiety
Acceptance encourages you to acknowledge how you feel, without trying to change the feeling, or make it stop. You notice the anxiety without getting involved with it. Without having an opinion about whether it is good or bad – it just is.
The more you criticise yourself – the more anxious you are likely to get. Bringing acceptance to your experience means being more compassionate. Everyone is anxious at some time. It is normal and you are doing the best you can. If in doubt, imagine how your best friend would talk to you. Then offer yourself the same kind words.
With acceptance, you can also understand that it is unhelpful to think you can control anxiety or wish it away. You do not have much control over your thoughts – try telling your mind not to think of a pink elephant. And the more you struggle to not think of something, the more you train your brain to see that something as a threat.
Acknowledging your anxiety gives you chance to accept it then move your focus and attention onto things you can do.
Five ways to use acceptance to reduce anxiety
- Give your anxiety a name. Sounds strange, but if you name the feeling, it creates distance between you and ‘it’, which can make the discomfort more manageable. Let’s say you have called your anxiety ‘Gerald’ (apologies to all the Geralds reading this). When you feel anxious, acknowledge it – ‘Hello Gerald’ – then move on to what you want to do. In this way you accept that ‘Gerald’ is present, but you do not get involved in a conversation.
- After acknowledging your anxiety, do some gentle movement. Research has shown that gentle stretching, for example, can help soothe anxiety.
- While you cannot control your thoughts, you can control where you focus your attention. Like training any muscle or habit, this takes practice. Try to find regular opportunities to increase your concentration. Examples might include ignoring alerts on your phone while you do another piece of work or trying a new hobby that requires you to give it your full attention. The more you practice directing your attention, the better you will get at it.
- However anxious you feel, there will be things you know bring you calm. Be your own resource. Keep a note of habits, practices, situations, the create greater calm for you. It might be walking, looking at nature, playing with a pet, creating art, cooking. Whatever it is for you, build some time to do
Set aside some time each day to practice meditation. The act of bringing your attention to your breath, or an object, can help reduce anxiety. There are apps you can try, books you can read. Here is an audio guided meditation, specifically for anxiety.
It is not possible to eradicate anxiety entirely – it’s part of our protection resources. But you can work with it to allow it to do its job, while you can still live your life. Mindfulness is not a quick fix. Regular daily practice is the key. Contact us for more on how mindfulness can help you create the life you want.
