Practising gratitude can improve your relationship with yourself and with others. When you notice and appreciate the little wins – the parking space right where you needed it, the kindness of others, the sound of birdsong, the smell of coffee – you find there is more and more to be grateful for. Mindfulness for gratitude can help you strengthen your sense of appreciation.
Gratitude does not mean you ignore problems. It is not about being mindlessly positive. It is about findings things to appreciate even in difficult circumstances. Your mind is trained to look for the bad, difficulties and problems. This is a defensive mechanism to protect you. But the bad becomes like Velcro – it sticks – and the good like Teflon – slips away. By focusing on gratitude, you can change your brain and improve your mental health. Studies suggest gratitude can:
- strengthen your immune system
- improve your sleep
- help you feel more optimistic
- allow you to experience more joy and pleasure
- make you more helpful and generous
- reduce loneliness and isolation.
For midlife women, the peri- and menopause can be presented as all doom and gloom. However, it can also be great time to reflect on all you have accomplished and be thankful for all experiences. Your brain is rewiring anyway. Gratitude can help you create a calmer, more joyful space from which to move forward into the next chapter of your life.
More specifically, gratitude has been shown to decrease the frequency and duration of hot flashes and night sweats, and to reduce the perceived stress associated with them. It can help with depression and anxiety, two common symptoms of midlife changes. It can also help reduce stress and pain.
Mindfulness for gratitude: five ways to practice
When you are mindful, you show up to the present moment, just as it is, with acceptance, curiosity and non-judgement. It is a chance to slow down, and to get to know yourself better. Here are five ways to be mindful with gratitude:
- Keep a gratitude journal: it could be electronic or on paper. Take time every day to notice 10 things you are grateful for.
- Pick something you are ungrateful for: spend two minutes writing down everything that is good about something you do not like.
- Notice the ‘thank yous’: check in with your body and mind. Are you dismissing others appreciation of you? Are you immediately rushing off into the next thing? If so breathe, take a moment to absorb the ‘thank you’.
- Connect to your senses: bring gratitude to five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
- Create a formal practice: find a gratitude meditation that you like. There is one at the end of this article. There are also others to choose from here.
Often the hardest part of practicing gratitude is remembering to do it. So, create some visual reminders for yourself. And think about when is the best time of day to give your time to this. Continue one or all these practices for two months or more and see what changes.
Gratitude in daily life
My husband and I once got stuck in a traffic jam, due to late season snow. We were on the road from Leh to Manali in India, on top of the Baralacha La, 4,800m high.
We were stuck all night.
It was not exactly comfortable, but I was grateful for:
- Being in a car, not on a motorbike
- Being able to sit up (lying down was hard as I was not acclimatised to that altitude)
- Having enough water and food
- Our driver who lent me his sleeping bag
- The police who came at 2am to try to clear the jam
- The lorry drivers who did clear the jam the following day
- The knowledge that an overnight bus or plane journey will never be as difficult again.
None of the above changed the fact that it was very cold, and our journey was delayed. But gratitude did make it an easier experience to bear.
Practising gratitude takes time and patience. And it helps to enjoy the journey, not just be focused on the destination. Here is a guided meditation on everyday gratitude, to help you bring mindfulness for gratitude into your life. The practice is 13 minutes long.
Mindfulness tip: work out the best time of day for you to practice.
