Depression is one of the most common mental health problems. It is more common in women than in men and is the second leading cause of years lived with disability worldwide (back pain is number one). Relapse after an initial episode is very common, running at 80 per cent. Mindfulness and kindness can combine to help you reduce your risk of relapse.
There are many causes of depression, however two factors seem to increase the chances of relapses – rumination and avoidance. Rumination involves dwelling on the past, getting stuck in repetitive habits of unhelpful thinking. With depression there are often habits of thinking that precede and reinforce the depression – for example, ‘I’m no good’, ‘I always mess up’.
Avoidance is when you procrastinate about doing things – completing paperwork, not going out to a social event – even though there could be negative consequences. You may be worried about being judged or think in advance you won’t enjoy something.
Kindness has been shown to boost your mental health. This can include kindness to yourself and to others. Any action which is motivated by a genuine desire to make a positive difference can help you with depression.
How mindfulness and kindness can help with depression
The factors which influence and can increase depression – rumination and avoidance – can both be reduced with mindfulness.
Mindfulness teaches you to acknowledge what you are thinking, in a detached way. As though you are an observer of your thoughts, without getting caught up in them. Repetitive habits of thinking that may tip you into depression can be noticed and then let go, without being judged.
When you bring kindness to yourself, you can reduce the self-criticism that can stop you taking positive action. It allows you to get curious about what you are thinking and challenge it with evidence that is based on your own experience.
You can train your mind to focus on the present moment, without trying to change it, moving you out of a focus on the past or worry about the future.
Five ways to be kind to yourself using mindfulness
Whenever you practice mindfulness, it is an act of kindness to yourself just as it is. Here are five ways to try this out.
- Go for a walk. When you are stuck in a feeling or an emotion, it can help to move your body. See if you can walk slowly, pay attention to the feeling of your feet and to the environment around you. The right and left movement of your feet and your arms inherent in movement can help integrate the different parts of your brain better.
- Distance yourself from your thoughts. To help grow your capacity to observe your thinking, talk to yourself as an outsider. Use the third person – ‘the’ thought rather than ‘my’ thought. If you find yourself talking negatively about yourself, for example ‘I am useless’, change it to ‘I notice that I am feeling useless’.
- Try the RAIN practice, to help you create distance from unhelpful negative thoughts. The practice stands for Recognise, Allow, Investigate, and finally Nurture yourself.
- Bring loving kindness to yourself. Sit comfortably, upright but not tense. Place one hand over your heart, the other over your abdomen. Gently become aware of your breathing. After a few conscious breaths, say to yourself:
- May I be free from suffering
- May I be well
- May I be happy
- May I have love and be loved.
- Keep a diary or journal and make a note of five things you do every day to show kindness to yourself. Writing things by hand slows your brain down and helps you show kindness to your thoughts. Make a practice to find ways to show kindness – drink a glass of water, put on a favourite outfit, step outside and look upwards, take time to read a book or listen to music. Whatever is relevant to you. The act of acknowledging kindness is also a way to train the brain you want.
Mindfulness is not a quick fix. Nor is it necessarily the only way to help with depression. The secret is to take small steps consistently, each day. Because lots of small steps eventually result in big progress. Here is a guided meditation to help you practice. It is 11.5 minutes long.
Kindness to your mind and thoughts.
If you want to know more about how mindfulness can help you manage depression, book a free consultation with me.
