According to philosophers, change is the only constant. It can be appealing to stay with the safe and familiar, but you cannot grow this way. And getting more used to being outside your comfort zone can bring great benefits. Mindfulness for change can help you navigate transitions.
Your comfort zone is calm and secure – largely free from anxiety and worry. It is a healthy adaptation, but then so is stepping out into the next version of you. A little stress and anxiety can be a good thing. Life does not stay static and avoiding discomfort, because of fear you will fail or get hurt, can leave you stuck with a life that is not as fulfilling as you want it to be.
Midlife women do not have much of a choice. The menopause is a transition, a chance to take stock, to decide what you want your life to look like. It is an opportunity to take care of yourself and spend less time nurturing others. A time to learn to say no to old habits and thinking and prepare to embrace all your future possibilities.
Five ways mindfulness for change can help
Real life is the sum of all our experiences – not just the ones you are comfortable with. Midlife is a prime time to get more comfortable in your own skin. And mindfulness can help you understand yourself better and become your own best friend. Some ways you can cultivate this are:
- Acceptance: that change is inevitable and that the future may well be better than the past. It is tempting to cling to the comfort of how things have worked to date. And when faced with uncertainty, it is easy for your brain to spiral down into ‘what if’ fears and worries. Mindfulness encourages you to sit with the fears and accept them without judging yourself.
- Trust: take time to reflect on challenges you have faced in the past, and how you rose to those challenges. Everyone has them, so allow space in your thinking to trust yourself. You have coped before; you will cope again.
- Slow down: big changes can seem overwhelming. So, break them down. Write out all the aspects and how each will impact you. Writing slows your thought process down, stops anxiety taking a hold. With everything out on paper, it can be easier to see ways forward, small steps to take now, and ways to manage the process. Try The Breathing Space meditation to help you slow your mind and body.
- Patience: when you take risks, you grow. Challenge yourself to make small changes, eating different food, try a new hobby, travel a new way on a familiar journey. Each small change builds on the previous one, and helps you get more comfortable outside your normal, without emotional overwhelm.
- Letting go: of the need to be right, the need to have everything figured out. Whenever you try something new, you can allow yourself to be open to whatever arises. You are expanding your life skills, and your self-knowledge. To serve you now and in the future.
The more you take risks regardless of outcomes, the more you grow. Your boundaries expand, your comfort zone increases. Mistakes and things that do not go right simply become part of your experience, to support you in the future. In many ways there is no such thing as a fail.
Navigating change in daily life
Successful adaptation to change often involves finding meaning in the changes. When you can make sense of transition in the context of your life, you can bring greater self-responsibility, flexibility, and creativity to the process. If you can approach change from a perspective of ‘there’s a reason for this, even if I don’t know what the reason is’, you can feel less lost.
I have made lots of big changes. Left a career in the corporate world to be a chiropractor. Moved from the UK to India, to have the opportunity to live in a different culture. .
I have learned that ‘meaning’ is so important – if I know why I am trying to do something, the end goal can make the effort required easier to bear. But I have also learned that to achieve change, sometimes I need to stop battling what is. And stop trying so hard to control the direction and the speed.
The past 18 months have not played out the way I had planned. My view of where I wanted to live and what I wanted to be doing has not come to pass – yet.
Being prepared to work towards a goal is great. But striving too much for a particular outcome can be self-defeating. Too much tension and expectation can stop me seeing the progress I have made.
I can still have goals. And I can enjoy the journey – wherever it may lead – for its own sake.
Getting out of your comfort zone takes time and patience. And it helps to enjoy the journey, not just be focused on the destination. Here is a guided meditation calm, clarity and confidence, to help you use mindfulness to navigate change. The practice is 10 minutes long.
Mindfulness tip: slow things down when you feel anxious or overwhelmed.
