When you think of attitudes of mindfulness, what comes to mind? Is it an activity, like meditation? Is it a happy place, like a beach? Is it a quality, like peace? Is it a state of being, like calm?
Whatever your answer, your right. And wrong.
For me, mindfulness is about awareness. The capacity to pay attention to in the present moment, to be focused on where we are, right now. With the awareness comes insight – the capacity to tune in to our thoughts, feelings, sensations – to help us navigate life and relationships to the best of our ability.
There are seven attitudes that underpin the teaching. For some people, learning these is the most valuable part of the teaching.
Acceptance
The capacity to accept things as they are. It is tempting to think of acceptance as passive, however it is anything but. It does not mean we have to like everything that happens to us. But it does mean not railing against things we cannot change. When we understand what is under our control, such as our responses and actions, and what it not under our control, such as the weather, traffic, or other people, we can devote energy to what we can change.
Beginner’s Mind
The art of approaching situations as if seeing them for the first time. Our beliefs and expectations can stop us seeing what is truly there. Neuroscience tells us that our eyesight and hearing are both influenced by our cultural background, education, parenting, – we literally can see and hear what we expect to be there, rather than what is. Our minds can get stuck thinking they know more than they do. This limits our options and causes us to react, rather than respond.
Non-judgement
This is perhaps misnamed, as we are making judgements all the time. Almost everything that happens we judge either good, bad, or neutral. So, it is not so much about not making judgements, as being aware that we make habitual judgements, and this can trap us into mechanical reactions. Have you ever got worked up about something, only to discover later that you had misunderstood? I have. When we become aware of our judgements, we can also create the space to choose our reactions.
Non-striving
A tough one for all of us brought up in cultures and systems that emphasise achievement of goals. Non-striving is about learning to practice without expectations. If we set goals for our meditation, for example, we create a situation where we are not fully present with what is, because we are keen to change it into something else. That is not to say you should not have an end in mind, for example greater calm, less pain, but do not make that end a precondition for judging whether your practice was successful.
Trust
The Buddha once told his followers not to believe what he told them. He said his followers should listen to the lessons, but then go ahead and test them out in their own lives. The act of trusting yourself and your feelings is an important aspect of mindfulness training. Learning mindfulness is about developing insight, so we can listen clearly to what our hearts and minds are telling us, and make informed choices about actions that are right for us.
Letting go
Typically, we tend to cling on to things we like, and reject those we do not. Letting go is the spirit of non-attachment, the capacity to allow things to be as they are, without the need to hold on or push away. See the audio guides for a practice on letting go of fixing.
Patience
Building the brain we want, forming new pathways and new connections, takes time. Learning unfolds at its own pace, and it is useful to remember this, so we can be patient with ourselves and with others.
It may be that some of the above does not make a lot of sense to you. If so, you are normal. Some aspects of the attitudes do not necessarily resonate with all of us, and may not with you unless you have personal experience to, as it were, hang your understanding on.
Next week I will put more flesh on the bones of how to practice the seven attitudes in daily life. Until then, maybe take one attitude a day, and in the spirit of gentle, kind enquiry, see how it plays out in your life.
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