However calm and balanced we try to remain, there are always situations that catch us off guard. People and issues that ‘push our buttons’. At these times, mindfulness can help.
Next time you find your stress spiraling, try one of these 10 ways to calm your mind and return you to the present moment.
- Breathe – yes, notice your breath. It is always with you and always available. And the moment you notice it, you are in the present moment. See if you can bring your attention to your breath in the front of your chest, better still, in your abdomen. When we are stressed, we tend to breathe too shallowly. Try my Breathing Space meditation for help with this.
- Walk away – if you can, take a walk away from the person/situation. Get outside if possible, as being in nature/fresh air often helps. It seems the rhythmic left and right movement of the feet can help calm the mind.
- Everyday tasks – pick something mundane, such as brushing your teeth, doing the washing up, and give it your full, undivided attention. As with breathing, when we attend to exactly what we are doing, this is being present. And our attention to the present can help stop our mind running riot.
- Remember 5,4,3,2,1 – look around you and acknowledge 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can tastes. Can help reduce anxiety by getting you out of your head and in contact with the present.
- Something you love – pick up an activity you love and do it, even if just for five minutes. Read a book, listen to a favourite song. The more often you can focus your mind’s attention on the pleasant, the more you are wiring your brain for calm.
- Move mindfully – yoga is good, but any movement will do. Slow down, co-ordinate with your breath. Helps bring your attention from your stressed mind down into your body. If you are feeling tense, try breathing into the tension, softening it.
- Make notes – get your thoughts down on paper. Just write, putting everything from your head down on the page has been shown to reduce stress and pain. And regular journaling can help you make sense of your stressors, and habits of thinking.
- STOP – whatever is happening, Stop, Take stock, Observe, only then Proceed. Making ourselves wait before reacting can be a powerful tool to help us gain new perspective and see different options. Listen to my STOP meditation for help with this practice. Get familiar with it when you are not stressed, and it will be easier to remember when you are.
- The 90 second rule – the physiological components of emotion usually only last about 90 seconds in our bodies. It is our ruminating minds that keep them alive and churning. Learning to observe our minds, and label what we are feeling, can reduce stress and help emotions pass through faster.
- Create distance – we cannot always create physical distance, but we can create mental distance, by re-framing how we talk to ourselves. When you notice yourself saying internally ‘I’m stressed’, re-frame it as ‘I am having the thought that I am stressed’. You can re-frame it even further away with ‘I notice I am having the thought that … ‘. We are not our feelings and this change of language can help create psychological distance.
In addition to the meditations mentioned above, there’s also an Awareness in Three Parts practice, designed for emergency use, to help us reconnect with our thoughts, senses and body. None of these is a magic wand, and different approaches will help different people at different times. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.
